Remember the “Friday the 13th” movies, where Jason terrorizes summer campers?

He had nothing on petty moms with too much time on their hands.

Everyone in my hood is sending their kids to music camp, drama camp, science camp, cooking camp or VBS. Some with older kids have packed them off to sleep-away camp.

Fun, right? Canoes, horses, s’mores. Great rites of childhood. Except when summer camp becomes an instrument to settle social scores.

My friends Annie and Betty are locked in this tedious Cold War. The genesis of this long-simmering feud has been lost to history, of course.

Annie and Betty’s husbands were fraternity brothers and their kids are friends. They can’t excise each other from their social circles. Instead they are engaged in this socio-nuclear arms race, each powering up to detonate weapons of massive passive aggressive destruction. Annie has a cocktail hour and “forgets” to invited Betty. Betty has a princess party for the twins and leaves Annie’s girls out. Each posts photos on Facebook so the other knows she has been snubbed.

Summer camp has become their latest battlefield.

Annie had planned to send her daughter Cee Cee and Betty had planned to send her daughter Dee Dee to a certain camp. (Why, with all the camps in all the towns in all the world they chose the same one is a mystery. Or maybe it’s not).

Cee Cee is shy and tends to back out of activities at the last minute, so Annie decided to bury the hatchet (or at least put it on the shelf for a minute) and called Betty.

Annie: Can the girls share a cabin? Betty: No.

For. Real.

Annie then called the mom of another camper. The other mother, neutral as Switzerland, said sure, they’ll love sharing a cabin.

Betty caught wind of this arrangement and launched a missile. If Dee Dee found out that Cee Cee and Swiss Miss were bunking together she’d be heartbroken. Why Annie didn’t just say “Too bad,” I don’t know. But the missile found its target. Annie pulled Cee Cee out of camp.

Dee Dee remained oblivious to the mama drama but Swiss Miss became a civilian casualty. Her mother had told her she and Cee Cee would be sharing a cabin, and then things changed for reasons they don’t understand.

I don’t either.

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