How YOU doin??

You might be a Suburb-nick if…

Your church serves gluten-free Communion wafers.

You’ve ever thought, “WHAT is all that racket interfering with naptime?” And then realized it was your landscaper.

You and your friends hang out at Starbucks while maids clean your houses.

EVERY party you attend is a potluck.

Your closets are packed with makeup from Arbonne, popcorn from the Boy Scouts, candles from Scentsy, platters from Southern Living At Home, spatulas from Pampered Chef and wrapping paper from Sally Foster.

Your husband lusts after your neighbor’s Big Green Egg the way he used to scam on his college buddies’ hot girlfriends.

If you’re more than 5 minutes late to a social function your friends start calling to see if you’re on the way.

You have discovered that a sippy cup can serve as a martini shaker in a pinch.

Even if you forget your friends’ kids names you remember whether they have a peanut allergy or lactose intolerance.

You store more DVDs in your SUV than in your house.

You have a cute handpainted “Time Out” chair in your house that no child has ever actually sat upon.

Have I forgotten anything?