In those days Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz issued a decree that the pumpkin spice latte should be put on the menu in the entire world only in fall and winter months. And everyone went to their own laptop to register their Starbucks card.

So all the housewives and stay-at-home-moms also went up from the suburbs.  While they were there, the time came for the pumpkin spice latte to return. They wrapped them in those cardboard cup holders so their fingers wouldn’t burn.

And there were nannies living out in the carriage houses nearby, keeping watch over their children by day and and night. A barista appeared to them, and the glory of the pumpkin latte shone around them, and they were terrified. But the barista said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the suburb the pumpkin spice latte has returned. This will be a sign to you: You will find one in tall, grande or venti sizes, with or without whipped cream.”

Suddenly a great company of the cashiers appeared with the barista, praising the pumpkin spice latte and saying, “Are you kidding? None of you heifers need to think about whipped cream. Give me a break, talking about you just came from yoga or Curves or Jazzercise. And no I don’t think you need that biscotti, either.”

And on earth, peace to those on whom cinnamon sprinkles rest.