Hey man did you get my Evite? I'm having some people over for an at-home party. No pressure but we could sign you up as a consultant on the spot! Oh and if you could bring a side to share that would be awesome.

A horror film is now playing, starring two creatures from the land of the six-cupholder vehicle.

“Home Party vs. Potluck.”

If you live in the suburbs you snack on Boy Scout popcorn and Girl Scout cookies, gussy up with Arbonne/Avon/Mary Kay cosmetics and serve appetizers from Pampered Chef or Tastefully Simple on platters from Southern Living at Home.

You. Just. Do.

An enterprising CPA might find the amount families save in taxes from living in the suburbs drains away one home party at a time.

I try to support friends when they’re starting their at-home businesses (No, I do not want to come to your party or sign up as a consultant on your “team.”) But now someone has gone and upped the ante by inviting a bunch of us to an “At-Home Potluck.” That’s right, we’re bringing the food to a party where we’ll be expected to buy stuff.

Naturally I’ll go because, you know, that’s how we roll in the ‘burbs.

But I reserve the right to tweet and blog about this horror show.